Seven real laws of style
Men apparently are far more straightforward and we women tie ourselves in knots trying to decipher their undercurrents, innuendo or guile where there probably is none - we do this because that is the domain we inhabit.
Interesting Friday night drinks conversation this may be but what has it got to do with fashion and why on earth am I writing about it?
Okay, there's a certain amount of deceit in hair-pieces, false lashes, chicken fillets, Botox, teeth whitening and even mascara but I'm writing about women and deceit because sadly the person we are most likely to deceive when it comes to fashion is ourselves.
How many times have we told ourselves; "I can get away with it?" I'd suggest more than you can remember.
So, to break down the web of lies we tell ourselves I've written seven immutable laws of fashion and style:
Just because you can get the zip up doesn't mean it fits.
Sometimes, we really do want to be a size smaller - maybe you love the garment but the next size isn't available. Maybe you cannot stomach the thought that you really are a size bigger. Whatever the reason, too tight garments make you look fat. They also pucker, pull, cause camel toes and look uncomfortable. That is never stylish. Get the next size.
If I wear the right make-up I can wear this colour.
We all have colours that make us look amazing. There are also some that make us look sickly. Regardless of whether it is the hot colour right now, if you have to work too hard to make a colour work for you - it doesn't. Choose again.
I'm a size 'x'.
Once, in one pair of shorts I managed to fit a size 8. I'm a twelve. No way around it. Don't forever afterwards try to fool yourself that you are now a teeny tiny size due to a manipulative manufacturer. There are loads of companies confusing women with vanity sizing.
My legs aren't too bad - I can get away with a mini.
If you are even having this conversation with yourself (or an overly enthusiastic sales assistant) that is a sure sign you can't. If the argument persists, sit down in front of the mirror.
I've had my hair like this for years - it's my signature. Guess what? Your signature hair is dated and old and makes you look dated and old. New hairstyles keep you current and can totally change your look.
I look better now than when I was twenty, so I can wear this.
There are some moments in fashion that are best left to young things. Style is something that comes with age. Older women in looks that are meant for younger girls simply look like they are trying too hard. And they get laughed at.
If I hold my stomach in and stand tall it looks OK.
Try holding your stomach in after two glasses of chardonnay and a bread and dips plate. Check your dress from all angles and remember, you can't hold yourself that way all night or you'll be so uncomfortable from wind you'll fart like a trooper all the way home. Again, not stylish.
So ladies, that's it - next time you find yourself saying "I can get away with this", stop fooling yourself and get real. Stylish women know what works for them and they don't compromise. Not even for the latest fashion.
FashioNZ Style Doctor - Jackie O 'Fee
Check out her own website here